Light of this world

Last weekend, we went for Palm Sunday mass at the Church of St Cecilia with our Godchildren and their parents. It is a really beautiful church with magnificent stained glass frescos of Jesus and other biblical characters.

I was in conversation with God as usual, just staring at the image of Jesus above the altar. Then it dawned upon me how this stained glass was created. It's not that I was not aware of it before but it drew a very powerful revelation for me.

The stained glass is made up of many broken pieces of glass, each with their own unique characteristic. When they come together, they form a beautiful masterpiece. It is even more magnificent when the evening sunlight filters through. All of us are like the different broken pieces of glass. In some way, we are broken but when we come together, we bring out the best in each other. The light of Christ shining through us creates that indescribable beauty.

We are all called by Christ to shine His light in this darken world and it is only through us coming together as one family can we bring out the magnificent glory of God. It is very much like the stained glass displaying that beautiful sight when the light shines through it.

May we be your light in this world Oh Lord.

Call to forgive

Recently, an incident occurred that got the both of us really upset and fuming.

We were promised something by a salesperson but were given something different. It irked us further when this salesperson skirts around the issue and insists that he has given us what he promised. He even had the cheek to tell us that according to the law, what he has given us fulfills that which is stated in the contract.

We are currently in the midst of finding a resolution for this but the very thought of this salesperson having the decency to deny any wrongdoing in this matter makes our blood boil. We are so angry with this person, his accomplice and his company. I find it very hard to even consider forgiving this person.

I took my first baby step to forgiving this person today when I was reading a book that a friend of ours gave us. It relates the encounter of a person with God, after the abduction and murder of his young daughter. The book revealed words of wisdom that I would like to share with you. “To forgive someone does not mean that you will be in relationship with that person. It means that you are removing your hands from the throat of that person, so that God can redeem that person when allowed to.” These are not the exact words but it brought new meaning to the word forgiveness to me. We do not need to have any further relations with that person but our act of forgiveness allows the possibility of God's redemptive power in that person's life.

I cannot imagine myself in the shoes of that character in the book, being able to forgive the murderer of his daughter but I know that we are all called to forgive no matter how grave the sin of the other party. It may sound illogical but Jesus showed the way by dying on the cross for our sins.

I pray for the grace of God to forgive this person and continue to strive for holiness in my short stay here on earth.

Metanoia

I was at Sunday evening mass and Father mentioned "Metanoia", a greek word meaning to turn around. It suddenly dawned upon me that we are well into the season of Lent. I was aware that this is the season of Lent but somehow I find that I am not preparing myself for Metanoia.

Life is hard enough that we should have to deal with difficult people and situations. It seems that kind and wonderful people, joyful and blessed situations seem to be the odd occurrence instead of the norm. I have found myself in many situations that have triggered a response that on hindsight is ugly and unkind. As I dwell and reflect on Father's message of metanioa, I pray that God will strengthen me in my daily living, to have the awareness and ability identify unkind situations and respond in a Christ-light manner. It is Lent and we are called to turn from our old ways and embrace God's
ways.

I was drawn to a story that Father shared in his homily. He shared about a young lady who was going for a simple operation and requested for Father to listen to her confession. When Father arrived at the hospital, she was on her way to the operating table. Although Father wanted to have the confession prior to her operation, she waved Father away and said that it can wait till after the operation. Unforunately, she never made it out of the operation. Opportunities are there for us to return to God, to turn from our evil ways. We have to grab them and not wait till another day, because that day might not come.

God is always waiting for us to return to Him. He never gives up on us. It is time for us to turn back to Him. I pray for the strength to do that, strength for metanoia. I pray the same for you.

You are not alone

Have you ever felt alone and abandoned by God in your life? It is never a good feeling. I suddenly felt this way yesterday. It just came like a bolt of lightning, and caught me by surprise. I can't say that I was prepared for it. I'm not sure if it's the worries that are weighing on my mind or the uncertainties in my life, not knowing what is ahead of  me, but that feeling was overwhemling. For a very long time now, I felt empty, very empty. I felt like I'm in a vacuum of  darkness and all I can see is nothingness. I'm not sure if I can describe that feeling but it is very dark and black.

I can't remember exactly how I got out of it but I manage to take small baby steps towards recovery, or should I say healing. I realised that too often I have relied on my own strength, such that when I am unable to handle life's difficulties, I crumple... I think my healing process started when I surrendered to God and allowed Him to strengthen me. Truely, I can only rely on God's strength to handle what life throws at me. That process started at mass and every waking moment now, I constantly pray for God's strength to sustain me. Knowing that He is with me, helps me deal with the
challenges of life. There are still moments when I fall back on being reliant on own strength but I keep reminding myself that God is with me. I find that I have to surrender daily to His power to help me in life. This is not easy and I am still in my infancy, trying to find my way. I am confident though, that I will get there with God.

Life may be difficult but God never gives up on us. We need not feel alone because He is right there with us. I can't imagine the pain you are going through but I know that God knows. I do believe that He is healing you right this very moment.

I pray that you will always remember that you are never alone and that God is with you in your pain and emptiness.

Emmanuel - God is with us

I am sure we have heard this phrase many times. Emmanuel (God is with us). It seems such simple logic, that God is with us all the time, before we existed till the present moment, and beyond our earthly existence. Yet at times, it is impossible to comprehend that He is indeed with us.

We all go through the valley of darkness, periods of hurts, pain and sufferings, unanswered prayers. I find it very difficult to acknowledge that God is with me during these dark times. I realised that I have focused all my thoughts on the fact that I am in the pits, such that I have left nothing within my being to faith, to hope. On hindsight, I am certain that God is there with me during those times, embracing me and getting me through. I still find it hard to believe that God is with me in my moments of suffering but faith is a gift that is incomprehendable. I know that I would never have gotten through on my own strength.

Today, I hear the story about a young boy suffering from cancer. He has been told that he has only months to live. Although fully aware of this, he is still perserving and living life to the full, an advocate for cancer research for children. His bravery inspires me, but I know that the strength that is carrying him comes from God the Almighty. The human spirit overcoming all adversity really is God's presence empowering us. We draw strength from Him and only through Him are we able to rise from our sufferings.

It is with renewed faith and hope that I step into this new year, firmly believing in the change that will come in my life. Having said that, I pray that in those dark moments that life throws my way, I may draw on His strength to rise and be renewed in His love. I pray the same for you.

Choose your response

It has been a super busy week, what with so much to do. It certainly did not help that more things needed my attention and time was a luxury I did not have.

As if being busy with my stuff was not enough, I had to take on someone else's responsibility. It may be a simple thing like replacing a missing light bulb but trust me, when you are rushing to get things done, that can be a mammoth task. I think the worse part of it is the attitude of people, who are indifferent and irresponsible.

This whole incident has taught me, or rather reinforce the lesson I have learned on numerous occasions, that you must choose your response and not let your emotions do that for you. To borrow a common saying,"Make lemonade when life throws lemons at you". If I had allowed my emotions to get the better of me, I might have done something really horrible. Instead, I had myself a lemonade.

Oh, btw, in case you are wondering, I replaced the light bulb.

I know that life will be tough at times but when it hits you, there is no denying that it can get very demoralising and upsetting. I pray that in times like these, I may be sustained by the grace of God. As much as I would like some form of pain to occur to those irresponsible people, I pray that God will touch their lives and bless them.

May you be my source of strength always and may your glory shine through me.

Who am I

Oh man... it has been almost a year since my last post and so much has changed since. I feel that I am kind of at the cross roads, not knowing which direction to take.

Indeed, many events have taken place that brought about much joy and saddness. As I look back at the year, I find myself drifting away from who I am and what my purpose in life is. I try to cling on to the promises of God, that He gives only the best to us. Some days I succeed, other days I fall flat on my face.

Who am I? A song by the Casting Crowns, one of my personal favourites plays back in my mind and the lyrics fill my ears with the amazing truth that God cares for me. He cares for each and every one of us and He knows us for who we are....

To anyone out there who feel that they are down and abandoned, God is there, where you are. My hope is that He will bring you out and take you to His dwelling place.

As Christmas nears, I pray for God's blessing on every human person, that all His children will continue to give him glory always, even in the most trying of times.

I continue to search for the direction that I should take, knowing that God has my back...